Some advice for regret and anxiety

[Bigmac]

Your hair does look good and has stood the test of time so far. Unfortunately, we can`t turn back time but we can move forward more positively. If I were in your position, I`d get some scalp grafts placed in the scars and forget about it once they grow in. There is plenty of doctors out there who could do unshaven FUE for you.
It is an interesting perspective from you wishing you had never had a transplant but I wonder if you`d have had an unhappier time in your youth.
If someone can shave/buzz their hair and not let the look bother them, then that is the best solution.

 

[Salazar]

Just out of curiosity, do you have any photos of the state of your hair loss before the surgery?

I clipped my hair pretty short for a few years after my first HT and I was happy with the look

Would you have been as happy with the look if you hadn't had the surgery? Also, if you were happy, why did you have a second procedure?

 

[Bigcheese]

Just out of curiosity, do you have any photos of the state of your hair loss before the surgery?


Would you have been as happy with the look if you hadn't had the surgery? Also, if you were happy, why did you have a second procedure?

I'd really have to go digging for some photos. I wore a hat usually because I hated people telling me I was balding all the time.

I actually kind of liked the the look and got compliments for it, however most people would probably say my hsir looks better now. The reason I had another one was I already had a strip scar. There wasn't much to lose if it didn't work out because I would just shave my head again. Although the scar did bother me and it's larger now.

 

[Salazar]

I'd really have to go digging for some photos

That's okay. Your hair looks brilliant in the photos, so I was just curious to see where you started from, but really there's no need to go hunting for old photos.

I understand your unhappiness with the scars. I have come close to getting surgery (FUE) myself, but the fear of lots of little white visible dots on the back of my head has so far deterred me. However, I wouldn't say that I'm any happier. I'm where you were before you had the surgery: living my life hiding under a hat. Which makes me wonder if you really would have been better off. After all, you were motivated to get surgery twice. Perhaps if you had waited a bit longer -- say 5 or 10 years -- you could have better assessed things. But, of course, now there's no way of knowing. Anway, sorry for prattling on (I'm still working on my own issues when it comes to hair loss.) Perhaps you could consider scalp micropigmentation or look into getting a small FUE procedure to insert grafts into the scars. All the best.

 

[Salazar]

It was good work though if you looked like Jude law.

I actually envy Jude Law -- not his hair loss obviously, but the fact that he's learned to live with it (and that despite being constantly in the public eye.)

 

[Bigcheese]

I actually envy Jude Law -- not his hair loss obviously, but the fact that he's learned to live with it (and that despite being constantly in the public eye.)

He always seemed pretty nonchalant about his hair loss. Still better looking than most of us I guess. Not to toot my own horn but I think my hair loss actually hit me harder BECAUSE I was considered a good looking guy. I didn't have to work for much and it was hard to lose that attention. Maybe I needed to work on my personality a little.

 

[Salazar]

I think my hair loss actually hit me harder BECAUSE I was considered a good looking guy

It's hard to say. Before I started losing it, I never paid any attention to my hair. Once a month, I would simply go and have it buzzed short. I did this, not because I thought that short hair suited me, but because I didn't care enough to do anything else with it. Even when I started losing hair at first, I wasn't overly concerned; I thought it was merely due to stress and that it would regrow in a few months. It's only when I realised that my hair loss was genetic that it had a hugely negative impact on my life. Despite never being vain (some days I didn't even bother looking in a mirror, which often resulted in me leaving the house with toothpaste still on my face), I realised that my self-identity (if only at an unconscious level) was bound up with having hair. I could accept temporary losses of hair (due to poor diet or stress), but not the knowledge that I was genetically predisposed to permanently lose hair. Knowing this made me sick to my stomach and, despite my efforts to try to accept things, I have yet to be successful. But yet again, I prattle on. Apologies.

 

[SimBa]

I mean I've actually researched if pubic hair can be used for FUE smh, I'm pretty sure that's not something I'd be dealing with if I just clipped my hair down from the get go like an uglier Jason Statham.

Quote of the year

 

[Bigcheese]

It's hard to say. Before I started losing it, I never paid any attention to my hair. Once a month, I would simply go and have it buzzed short. I did this, not because I thought that short hair suited me, but because I didn't care enough to do anything else with it. Even when I started losing hair at first, I wasn't overly concerned; I thought it was merely due to stress and that it would regrow in a few months. It's only when I realised that my hair loss was genetic that it had a hugely negative impact on my life. Despite never being vain (some days I didn't even bother looking in a mirror, which often resulted in me leaving the house with toothpaste still on my face), I realised that my self-identity (if only at an unconscious level) was bound up with having hair. I could accept temporary losses of hair (due to poor diet or stress), but not the knowledge that I was genetically predisposed to permanently lose hair. Knowing this made me sick to my stomach and, despite my efforts to try to accept things, I have yet to be successful. But yet again, I prattle on. Apologies.

There is a huge psychological component to hair loss that will affect everyone differently and it's not necessarily about being vain. In my case having hair transplants certainly didn't make that go away, if anything it amplified it because it caused me to think about my hair even more.

 

[Salazar]

it amplified it because it caused me to think about my hair even more

There is much truth in that. I suppose that is another reason why I have held back from getting surgery. I want a hair transplant to be the end of my journey, not the beginning of a new round of worries and heartache.

How visible is the scarring? From the photos, I can't say that I see anything. What is the shortest that can wear your hair before they become visible? Has anyone ever noticed or commented on your scars?

 

[Bigcheese]

There is much truth in that. I suppose that is another reason why I have held back from getting surgery. I want a hair transplant to be the end of my journey, not the beginning of a new round of worries and heartache.

How visible is the scarring? From the photos, I can't say that I see anything. What is the shortest that can wear your hair before they become visible? Has anyone ever noticed or commented on your scars?

My barber knows about the scars so I'm guessing if he cut it much shorter than in the photos it would be noticeable. I shaved my head for a few years after the first one and people asked about it all the time. I made up some bs story about a surgery but this was before they had become mainstream and I'd bet more people than not know what a strip scar is these days. There's maybe 100 guys where I work and 2 of them have a FUT scar. The fact that they still look balding and have a visible scar would lead me to believe they also regret their decision.

 

[Salazar]

Maybe you could use concealer to cover the scars? I'm not sure if it's something that you're interested in, but there's a video by Joe Tillman, in which he tries out various concealers (for some reason I am unable to post links, but if you google "Hair loss Concealer Review Using A Drone- Hair Transplant Class #005" you should find the video on Youtube.) Given what you said earlier about focusing too much on your hair, this might not be an ideal solution. Then again, it might be easier to incorporate into your routine than you realise. The only other alternatives are the ones that I mentioned earlier: scalp micropigmentation (which sadly needs to be renewed every few years) or a small FUE procedure. I know that you're unhappy with the scars (and I don't blame you) but on the plus side, you do have an enviable head of hair. Sorry that I can't be more helpful. All the best.

 

[Kevboy]

The scar isn't great, the lower part in particular is fairly wide. I think at a #4 clip the upper part is still hidden but the straight lower part is fairly visible. I've debated getting FUE into the scar to see if it helps but I think I'll wait and see if I ever lose more hair. Some greasy Dr would probably talk me into throwing a few thousand grafts into my hairline.

That is where you stand your ground only allowing scar repair. Research enough to eliminate the doctors you think are not up to the job.

 

[Kevboy]

I actually envy Jude Law -- not his hair loss obviously, but the fact that he's learned to live with it (and that despite being constantly in the public eye.)

Having plenty of money helps. Even stars who are not so pleasing to the eye have no problem attracting partners.

 

[Jackdoor]

I am suffering from anxiety because of my receding hair line but i am scared to have a hair transplant because i see failures where the hair line looks manufactured. Because am already anxious when people look at my hair i do not want to make it worse. I think your Bigcheese hair line is good but you have the scars to deal with. Would you do it again if the timeframe was now?

 

[amaritbennett]

Very useful reasoning for me